The following questions are designed to assist you with your writing of the apology letter. Please carefully consider each question. You may want to use a separate sheet to make notes on the questions and then compose your letter by carefully considering the four apology sections listed at the bottom of this page. Please date and properly address your letter.
Before your restorative justice meeting:
- What behavior specifically led to the charge?
- How did you feel about the behavior that lead to the charge before the restorative justice meeting?
- What did you think about that kind of behavior before you attended the meeting?
- Before the meeting, who do you think was impacted or affected by your behavior?
During your restorative justice meeting:
- How did listening to others change what you think about your behavior?
- How did your feelings about your behavior change during the meeting?
- During the meeting did you learn anything new about how your behavior affected others and the broader community? Describe what you learned?
After your restorative justice meeting:
- Since the meeting, have your feelings about the behavior changed?
- How has your behavior changed since attending the meeting?
- What did you learn about yourself and your role in the community?
An effective apology should contain the following: 1
- A clear and valid acknowledgment of the behavior that led to the charge. It is important not to be defensive or put the responsibility on someone else.
- A clear statement that the behavior will not happen again.
- A clear and honest expression of regret that is not arrogant and shows that you recognize how others were affected by your behavior.
- A clear statement of how you plan to make amends through changes in behavior, community service, donations, etc.
1Lazare, Aaron. “Making Peace through Apology.” Greater Good, fall 2004.